October 3, 2009

Worst Halloween Costumes Ever

For most Halloween is a time of make-believe, where people can dress up and become the thing they've wanted to be all year. But sometimes the misguided support of friends, family and the local Kmart causes things to go horribly awry. So, here's a sampling of the good, the ugly and the just plain worst Halloween costumes ever...

Rock Lobsta
There is nothing funny about pretending to cook a baby dressed as a lobster! Okay maybe it is a little funny, but who would do that to their child!?!


Plug me in baby...
As a married woman there is nothing I hate more than those kitschy, tacky couples outfits I see hanging on the rack at my local Party City. The nut and bolt, lock and key, bacon and eggs, salt and pepper, and the list goes on ad infenitum. Not only are these costumes boring and unimaginative, their effectiveness hinges on sexual innuendo that borders on sexism. If I were ever to wear one of the ghastly outfits, I would purposely switch gender roles just to jazz it up.


Toight like a tiger!
Obviously no one informed this man that the Tigger costume wasn't available in big scary man sizes. Or maybe they did and he just didn't care, though I must say his Spiderman undies do have the beginnings of decent Halloween outfit.


Meat and Two Veg
How the girl in the middle (she is the penis, so I am assuming she's the leader) got her girlfriends to agree to this getup I'll never know.


Every Oyster has it's Pearl
Jorge Garcia from Lost made this costume from a new toilet seat, or so he says.


Dr. Kill Joy
It's not a good idea to dress your kid as a blood-spattered doctor complete with a stabbing syringe unless you want him to be on the school's psycho watch list. I just love this kid's look of homicidal rage.


Sit on me!
Any man or woman who dresses up as a rubber bag that imitates fart noises is unworthy of my respect. And just in case you were wondering, yes, there is a child version.

One Thousand Flushes...Away My Dignity
Why is this child smiling!?!?!?!? Has no one told him he's going trick or treating as human toilet? The only upside to this costume would be if the toilet paper roll doubled as a clutch.


Heil myself...
Unless this kid was in a elementary school production of Mel Brook's The Producers I'd say his depiction of the fuhrer needs to be rethought by his parents. The sippy cup is a plus.

I know I complained about the lobster baby costume at the beginning of this post, but the horror fan in me compels me to love this costume. Clearly one parent wanted this kid to be dressed as a chicken while the other wanted the chest burster from Alien. Marriage is all about compromise.

7 comments:

Pax Romano said...

Monster Scholar, these pictures, each of them, has traumatized me in such horrid ways.

You'll be getting a bill from my shrink in the morning!

Lily Strange said...

There's a great lack of taste in all of these, but that Hitler toddler costume is wrong on very many levels. The parents who thought that up seriously need to be bitch slapped.

Mykal said...

MS: Oh my God, where does one start? The penis and hairy testicles? The kid in a bucket? Or the horribly unashamed young man in in the spiderman briefs? This is the funniest post I have ever seen. Thanks for making me laugh out loud. -- Mykal

Matt-suzaka said...

Is that Dr Kill Joy DJ Conner from Roseanne?! That is something that I would so want to dress up as when I was a kid. And I like the baby Alien too!

Mike Snoonian said...

The Spy Kids poster in the background is the cherry on top of the awesome sundae that is the Tigger costume. Clearly this is a man who has never touched a boob.

Also, the look on Alien baby's face says it all. A+alenticr

Belon said...

Hey, great post, very well written. You should blog more about this. I’ll definitely be subscribing.



Cheers,

Baby Lion Costumes

Hai!;D said...

I heard the hitler kid wanted to be that because he saw Cartman dressed up like that in some episode.
Thats some terrible parenting right there, but oh god, I love Cartman.

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